How do I start the conversation with someone who doesn’t like talking about feelings?

Last updated 10 November 2026

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In short

Start with work, not feelings. Ask about energy, workload or what is making the day harder, and offer practical help.

Many people in Singapore workplaces are more comfortable talking about work than about emotions. They can still get support without talking about how they feel.

What to do

Choose a private, relaxed moment, such as a walk to get coffee or the end of a one-to-one.
Ask a practical question For example: “How’s your energy been lately?”, “Is the workload manageable right now?” or “Is anything making your day harder than usual?”
Listen without rushing to solve it Give them time to answer, and accept a short answer.
Offer practical help, such as moving a deadline, clarifying priorities or taking over a task for a while.
Offer to talk again For example: “If anything changes, I’m happy to talk.”

Watch out for

Do not push for more than they want to share.
If you are worried about suicide, ask directly and get help together (see What do I do when a colleague is struggling?).

Good to know

Short, regular check-ins make these conversations feel normal, so they are easier to have when something is wrong.

Discover more

ArticleMental Health Conversations That Don’t Start With Feelings ArticleBuilding Confidence in Everyday Mental Health Conversations at Work Related questionWhat do I do when a colleague is struggling?Related questionAn employee is coming back after mental health-related leave. How do we plan their return?

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See all questions. This is general guidance, not legal or clinical advice. Can’t find your answer? Email hello@wellbeingchampions.sg.